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Are you looking into ways to help you to gain more confidence? Have you a lack of self-belief? Do you think that you are a weak person? Would you like to be more care-free person? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, this article may well be worth a read. I am going to write about how people can go about increasing their self-confidence. This advice is what I have used to help myself turn from an often depressive person to a now happy and relaxed young man.

My name is Steve Hill and I have to admit that for the first twenty-two years of my life, I did not exactly live life to the full or in the correct manner. I was basically like a scared rabbit, I worried about almost all aspects of life and was a very negative person. I needed to change this approach as I was not exactly a happy chap. Ten years ago I went about making this change by reading literature about self-confidence and by trying to learn how other people coped with their problems compared to me.

One of my many weaknesses was that I was very paranoid about what other people thought of me. I was desperate for people to like me and would easily get upset if people criticised me or made fun of me etc. In a way, I tried to hard to earn this type of respect and would do things and attend functions which I did not really want to, just to please other people of course.

I have now realised and accepted that it is important for me to be truthful to myself. I should be doing what I want to do and if people do not like me for whatever reason, then that is fine, I have enough people who do.

I have also decided to stop worrying about things like the future, money, relationships and work. Stressing about these and other things does not make life an easier, in fact it makes it a lot harder. There is no time in life for this type of fear, I should be spending this time trying to improve and enjoying my life. If something goes wrong which of course it will from time to time, I will deal with it when it happens, in a very positive and dynamic way.

As an example of my new found inner confidence was something that happened during a recent evening out I had with some friends of mine. We were all drinking quite a lot of beer and it was clear that most of my friends were intent on becoming very drunk. I like a drink but not half as much as what other people seem to. At around nine o’clock I had basically had enough of drinking alcohol and started to drink diet coke. My friends gave me some funny looks and made some comments, they were suggesting that I was not a true male. I did not care what they thought of me and told them so. If I want to drink diet coke then I will.

I am happy with my latest approach to life and am determined not to go back to the way I used to think and live. I do stress at times but quickly attempt to snap out of it by thinking in a more positive way.

Stephen Hill helps to promote a number of websites including:

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We all dream of our children being confident with high self-esteem.
It’s vital we remember that everything we say to a child can have a positive or negative consequence on their minds.

Sometimes all it takes is one knock back, one put down or one embarrassment to affect their behaviour well into their adult life if not for the rest of their days.

Mindful parenting is the answer. That’s being consciously aware of how you are communicating to your child in verbal and non-verbal ways. Consider yourself as a guide in your child’s life. Holding their hand along the way, at times walking just in front to lead them, sometimes walking by their side discovering together and at other times walking a step or two behind, supporting and encouraging them, being there to love them if they falter from their path. And it is THEIR path.

To help you achieve this I’ve given you some ideas below. Pick one or two to begin with and work with them until you feel comfortable. Then pick the next ones on the list you want to try.

Your rewards will be immense as parenting becomes relaxed and the family bonds grow stronger.

10 tips for building confidence and self-esteem:

Give responsibility appropriate to ability. Consider yourself as the guide that enables or disables a child’s growth.

Never tell a child they are wrong. Build co-operation. Remind them what you admire about them and ask them to try things a different way next time.

Give genuine praise for positive progression in schoolwork and things they do at home. Any step forward is progression. Praise it!

Let children hear you telling others about their strengths and progression - they’ll believe it more!

Involve them in parent/teacher discussions. Make it positive and solution focused.

Sit or crouch down when talking to them. Be on their eye level.

Ask for their opinions and validate them.

Together write a list of all their qualities. Encourage your child to come up with them and read the list daily.

Find something good in them everyday. Tell them.

Have teachers tell them what they are good at. When they could do better show them when they have previously done it well and refer them to it.

Involve them in family discussions and decisions. Listen to their ideas. Try to work with their ideas and tell them well done for their contribution.

Happy families

Jo

Jo Ball
Unstoppable Life

Jo Ball (LCA, Dip, NLP), Founder and Senior Coach at Unstoppable Life, would like to invite you to join her free personal development newsletter community. She runs Family enhancing Bushcraft weekends that bring your family and nature closer together. To join her newsletter or check out the weekends visit http://www.unstoppablelife.com.

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Take a look at Miss Piggy from the muppets. She was always very outgoing and confident, but more importantly she had amazing self-esteem. She thought and firmly believed that she was stunningly beautiful and she displayed it in a very dramatic way. Everyone fell for it, everyone found her to be glamourous. What’s more, Kermit the frog even went and fell in love with her! But let’s look at the truth of the matter - she was a pig!

Now she was no curvaceous Jessica Rabbit from the film “Who framed Roger Rabbit” who was a text book stunner! Miss Piggy certainly did not have the qualities of your typical super-model, I would even put my neck on the line and say that she was a bit chunky.

Developing self-esteem and oozing confidence can and does distinctly increase your ability to be irresistably attractive. It can and very often does create an illusion or aura of value, worth and desirability.

Why do we find a person with high self-esteem to be attractive? What is it about them that draws our attention and admiration? Is it the mystique? Is it an aura? That certain “je ne sais quoi?”

Look at what is happening here; a person who exhibits strong self-esteem is telling the world they value themselves. After all, the meaning of “self-esteem” is the esteem (value) of the self. It is the estimation of worth that you are giving to yourself. So when a person recognises their own self-worth and exhibits that to the rest of us, we start to think that they know something that we don’t! In other words, they think they are special and have value.

Likewise when someone shows the world that they have low self-esteem, we tend to believe and think that if they do not think very highly of themselves, then why should we be impressed or respectful of them? We certainly don’t usually allow ourselves to be dazzled by them.

In both cases, we simply go along with the estimation that what the person has signaled to us is valid. We tend to just believe the verdict that the person has put upon themself.

So why is that attractive? We, as humans, are naturally attracted to that which has been deemed valuable. We also tend to want to be a part of a larger group. We often follow the lead, join groups, and go along with the majority opinion - just to be part of the group.

High self-esteem can also create an illusion of attractiveness, or competence, even when it is not necessarily there. It is possible for us to be fooled. After all, attractiveness is a subjective attribute.

Self-esteem is the way that you feel about yourself, self-confidence is the way you feel about your abilities. Both can enhance your ability to attract partners, pay-rises, friends, sales, success, achievement and lots more. I think it would be valuable to learn how to increase your own self-esteem today. Hey, if it gets Miss Piggy pulling at someones (some-frogs) heart strings, it can do the same for you.

Adam Eason is a UK based, renowned consultant, speaker and best-selling author. Please visit his website for a vast range of resources from the fields of hypnosis, NLP, personal development and human potential and to receive your amazing, free, instantly downloadable hypnosis session for ultimate relaxation: http://www.adam-eason.com Thank you.

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