How Do You Communicate With Yourself

April 28th, 2008

We are used to think that communication is between people, that we need to communicate to express our feelings, our ideas, to create bonds, good feelings, harmony,and we all know that good communication is key in relationships, whether this being with partner, friends, family, neighbours, business,…

In absolutely everything good communication is the key to success.

But have you ever thought that you need to have good communication with yourself as well? And that good communication with yourself determines your happiness and bad communication with yourself determines your unhappiness?

Yes, because we can have all the money in the world, and houses and cars and goods and relationships, but if we do not have good communication with ourselves we may be very unhappy and also not able to appreciate and be thankful for all we have.

So, how can we achieve good communication with ourselves?

First of all, you need to welcome yourself for who you are: you are a wonder, wonderfully made, unique in richness, gifts and talents.

You need to be yourself and not try to be someone you are not, it would create inner discomfort.

Then, how do you talk to yourself?

You might say: “I do not talk to myself, I talk to people!” Yes, well, but what are you thinking and telling yourself in your head?

Do you beat yourself up?

I believe 99% of the population has obtained a PHD in “Beating ourselves up”!

Ok, so how about first of all stop doing it, start finding good things in you, take responsibility for all your weakness and do something to change them, simply?

How about starting by asking yourself:

Do I accept, or better, welcome myself?

Am I appreciating who I am?

Am I respecting myself?

Do I love myself?

Do I support myself?

And very important,

Am I thanking myself for all that I have done and overcome and achieved and simply for being alive and taking care of myself?

Do you know that the quality of your life depends literally on how you communicate with yourself?

You can literally make yourself happy or depressed.

It is about your thoughts about yourself, what you expect and the meaning you give to events, other people, and situations.

Your happiness in fact depends also on the meaning you give to events, situation, people, because you can choose a meaning that empowers you or one that disempowers you. What goes on in your head really determines your happiness or unhappiness. We have such a power.

How about if next time that you find yourself thinking about an event you choose to expect the best?

And how about next time that you have a discussion with your partner you choose to give an empowering meaning, maybe reframing the situation, maybe asking yourself if you need to know more information before getting a little annoyed?

How about deciding that from this very moment on you are going to make yourself happy?

And how about deciding that from this very moment on you are going to make yourself FEEL GOOD, REALLY GOOD?

Remember you can choose your thoughts at every moment, choose empowering ones!

Piercarla Garusi is a Life Coach & NLP Practitioner and Director of PG Coaching Ltd. She helps professionals, expatriates, charities, improve dramatically the quality of their lives and create extraordinary lives. She is also running a coaching programme to help people overcome their social anxiety. For free coaching mini-courses- Unleash Your Potential: Become Who You Really Are! and Be Your Own Life Coach!, as well as free newsletters, please visit: http://www.pgcoaching.co.uk Contacts: +44 020 8995 0264, info@pgcoaching.co.uk.

PG Coaching Ltd©
Our mission is to help each person discover and be the extraordinary person they are, empower them to be free from anything that is preventing them to be the best they can be, achieve an outstanding quality of life and wellbeing, create the extraordinary life they want and live everyday with passion.

Create an Extraordinary Life!

Tags: communication, , , , , , empowerment, happiness, Self esteem, self respect, success

Seasonality What’s the Big Deal

April 22nd, 2008

Do you work in or own a business that’s affected by seasonal cycles? Do you live in a community whose population changes significantly during the year (e.g., tourist influx, students returning to college)? Do you ever feel stressed out or frustrated by the seemingly constant changes or the extreme highs and lows of your life or your business?

Many people feel that these cyclical changes are just something they have to
tolerate. Never mind that your relationships, physical health, and your sanity can be
stretched to the breaking point during busy seasons. Or that you’re so tired by the
end of busy seasons that you simply don’t have any resources left for anything else.

Cash Flow Can Be a Problem

If you make most of your money in three or four months of the year, how can you
plan your expenses over all twelve months? And if your predictions about what
you’ll make during the busy season are wrongyou can have serious problems.
Wouldn’t it be great to approach a new season with money left in the bank from last
season? By caring about and paying attention to your cash flow, you can stop
worrying about making ends meet during the slower seasons.

Your Personal Relationships May Get Shortchanged

During your time of high activity, you see no one. Your partner, your friends, your
familyall have to live without you for a few months. Well, what if they get used to
doing without you? What if they become so tired of your not being around for them,
that they stop being around for you? It doesn’t take a great deal of time to pay
attention to your personal relationships during your busy season, and it’s an
investment that pays off handsomely.

Your Physical Health May Be at Risk

How many more years can you push yourself to your physical limits in order to meet
the ever-increasing demands of your busy season?

Getting Stuck on the Stress Roller Coaster

Do you love roller coasters? It’s easy to get addicted to the adrenaline rush of the
big hills and the loop-the-loops. Ever been stuck on one, or ride the same one
many times in a day? It’s one of the most boring things ever. The view never
changes, the thrill of the unknown dwindles, and you just can’t wait to get off. The
same thing happens if you find yourself stuck on the roller coaster of seasonal
stresses. Instead of rolling with the ups and downs, you become stressed all the
time. How can you get off the ride? Check out the Ten Ways to Reduce Stress This
Seasonfree!

Seasonal Changes Can Be Isolating

Living with seasonal changes can make you feel unique. Not many people get to live
on Martha’s Vineyard, right? Not many people get to have the summers off,
especially if they’re not teachersaren’t you lucky? Well, the very things that make
your life or your business unique may also make you feel alone. You feel like you
shouldn’t complain because you live in paradise; or because summer vacation is
built into your job. Luckily, there are many ways to find and communicate with
people who are experiencing the same things you are: online communities,
networking meetings, coaching groups. Sharing ideas, stories, and hints for dealing
with seasonal changes can go a long way to helping you feel more connected and
less stressed.

“That’s the Way It Is” Is Not a Valid Argument

Just because you live in a seasonal community, or work in a seasonal business,
doesn’t mean you are required to be miserable during the busy season. Being able
to successfully deal with the stresses of seasonal cycles can have a wide-ranging
impact. If you are happier and more confident, your customers (family, co-workers,
etc.) will be too.

(c)2005 Barbara Bellissimo.

Barbara Bellissimo is a women’s life transformation coach, and author of the book,
“Become Your Own Great and Powerful: A Woman’s Guide to Leading Your Real, Big
Life.”

Visit http://www.seasonsofsuccess.com to get her no-cost special
report–”Turn On Your Power and Lead Your Self to Greatness”–and her easy-to-
use tools and ideas for leading the real, big life you want–right now!

Tags: coaching, , , , , , , , empowerment, Leadership, life balance, Self confidence, Self esteem, transition, women

10 Compelling Reasons to Stop Singing the Blues

April 9th, 2008

Are you:

- feeling unfulfilled and dissatisfied with your life?

- ready to stop holding yourself back from success?

Is it time to:

- get rid of self-sabotaging thoughts that keep you down?

- say goodbye to the blues and take control of your life?

Then the following life-changing information is for you!

We’re all born with the potential for living a fulfilled, happy and enjoyable life. Some of us achieve extraordinary success in business and in life, some of us watch others achieve it, and many wonder why they come up short.

If you’re among those asking where is success for me? then please read on.

The following 10 principles for successful living are full of tips, tools and benefits that will ignite the fire within you to help you awaken to the fulfillment, happiness and joy in life you’ve been looking for.

Here are some compelling reasons to stop singing the blues:

1. Start thinking and dreaming big

When you think and dream big, you:

stop singing the blues and begin to activate your power to dream big.

can dust off the dreams you’ve had on the back burner and bring them into now.

see so many possibilities and want to take action to achieve them now.

look around at people who have achieved their dreams and believe if they can, you can too.

stop worrying about if you can afford it, if you know how to get it, or about any obstacles that stand in your way.

start using your creative genius to figure out how to get what you want.

are full of intention to take opportunities that come along.

surround yourself with like-minded people who are positive and encouraging, who are dream-makers not dream-breakers. The more you associate with supportive people who love and accept you just the way you are, the more success you’ll attract in your life.

recognize that you are who you spend time with.

2. Believe in yourself

When you truly believe in yourself, you:

become your greatest fan, you’ll grow stronger and your life will transform beyond your wildest dreams.

will become a new person.

will be so strong that you’ll know, without a doubt, that you can
have what you want, that you deserve it, and that you’re worthy of it. You will let go of limiting beliefs and start believing that “whatever your mind can conceive and believe, you can achieve.”

will start using your marvelous ability to reprogram yourself to have beliefs that are congruent with what you want and who you want to be.

will be encouraged to take chances, to push yourself further than you ever thought possible.

gain improved confidence that will lead to better performance at work, a better circle of friends, and better quality of life in all areas.

This improved self-confidence will help you deal with all of life’s challenges with a positive outlook.

3. Remove fear roadblocks

When you finally let go of success-stopping fear, you:

will finally remove the shackles of fear, you’ll hit the high notes of life expressed in Johnny Nash’s song “I Can See Clearly Now.” As you begin to see the world as “a bright sun-shiny day,” you’ll end your long history of self-sabotage to live the life you so richly deserve. You will realize that fear is only false evidence appearing real.

will outtalk the negative chatterbox in your brain. As you face whatever you fear and push through it, you will understand how to focus on correcting fear-based, thoughts quickly and easily.

won’t wait for the fear to go away before you take action. You will decide to take action in spite of your fears. Miraculous things happen to those who consciously choose to overcome their fears. As you move forward, your incredible inner strengths will emerge.

gain confidence in your skills, abilities and even your downfalls. As you move from victim to creator, you’ll learn more about yourself, your wants, needs and desires. This will open new doors of opportunity and you’ll truly be on the road to creating the life you want.

4. Bounce back from obstacles

When you face obstacles head-on, you:

meet everyday challenges with confidence. We all face problems, but some of us get stuck while others move on. Turning setbacks into comebacks will guarantee success.

won’t give up, you face the future with optimism and courage despite events.

will be able to self-reflect and gain wisdom from your experiences.

will be able to face reality, labeling your setbacks, losses and disappointments for what they are.

will find meaning and purpose in your struggles and think creatively under stress.

will expand rather than shut down when faced with challenges, and most importantly you will achieve the personal and professional success you deserve while continually discovering your greatness.

5. Develop persistence

My favorite quote by Calvin Coolidge goes like this: “Press on. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Education alone will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

When you cultivate the habit of being persistent, you:

stop singing the blues and you make a conscious decision to train yourself to be persistent.

realize that persistence must become a way of life if you want to succeed.

This speech given by Winston Churchill is still applicable today. “Never give in–never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense.”

What separates a person’s successes from failures is the ability to carry on when things go wrong. All successful people have persistence in common. When others give up, they don’t. Top sportsmen and musicians practice their skills for hours and hours at a time. They never rest on their laurels. They are always trying to get a little bit closer to perfection. When you stop singing the blues, you realize that without absolute determination and perseverance, your chances of success are drastically reduced.

6. Cultivate your strengths

When you work to develop your inner strengths, you:

polish your diamond and stop singing the blues

will become more confident, optimistic and focused. The more developed your strengths, the more likely you are to aspire to higher goals and achieve a life of great satisfaction and joy.

My favorite analogy is one used by Edward Anderson and Donald O. Clifton. In their book, Soar With Your Strengths, they say: “Talents are like diamonds in the rough and strengths are diamonds that show brilliance after they have been carefully cut and polished. Just as finished diamonds start as diamonds in the rough, strengths start as talents. And just as rough diamonds are naturally found in the earth, talents are naturally found within you. But while diamonds are refined with blades and polishing wheels, strengths are produced when talents are refined with knowledge and skills.”

7. Let go of the past

The benefits of letting go of the past are enormous. Psychological research is finding that being a forgiving person is essential to happiness. Even when someone wrongs you, feeling anger or hatred only causes your life to descend into misery and resentment. You are the one who suffers, not the person with whom you’re angry. Forgiving, on the other hand, can lift the burden.

When Buddha and Jesus and other great spiritual figures taught us to forgive those who sin against us, they weren’t just pronouncing holy philosophy, rather, they were giving practical down-to-earth life advice.

There is no question that you will be more satisfied with your life and will be less likely to experience symptoms of psychological distress, such as nervousness, restlessness and sadness if you let go of past traumas and disappointments. Researchers now believe that letting go of grudges may fortify the heart and the immune system. “When you’re stuck in a grudge, you’re isolated in your own suffering,” says Fred Luskin, Ph.D., author of Forgive for Good and director of the Stanford Forgiveness Project. “The long-term damage to the cardiovascular system from bitterness and resentment is clearly established.”

8. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”
~ Meiser Echart

When you express gratitude and appreciation for everything in your life, you:

give yourself a great and wonderful gift. Being grateful lifts your spirit, it helps you to renew, reflect and reconnect with yourself. You’ll notice you start appreciating ordinary things and realize that every day is a gift. An attitude of gratitude will hold you together even when you are in the midst of struggles and hardships.

maintain that sense of thankfulness for life, for the chance to experience each day’s sunrise. This will keep you in positive thinking mode.

have greater confidence and higher self-esteem. .

will be richer and happier and you will appreciate all the abundant gifts you have.

9. Contribute to society and make a difference
As you continue creating a positive outlook on life, you will realize the importance of making a difference by giving back to your community. Giving back in terms of donations, volunteering, contributing, mentoring or just listening to a friend will make a huge difference in your life.
The benefits of giving back to society cannot be measured. When you give back by serving others you will feel a rewarding sense of fulfillment in return. The satisfaction you get from helping others will enhance your mental attitude and you will enjoy greater prosperity.

10. Take great care of yourself’

You are the greatest miracle and the most unique individual ever created. When you take care of yourself, you:

stop singing the blues and appreciate this beautiful gift you have been given.

will take your life and yourself more seriously. The more focus you place on you, the more joy you will feel.

will feel fully alive, vibrant and rich.

will feel in control, confident, and connected to your life’s purpose.

will truly put your own needs first, you will build a reserve of energy and a safeguard against burnout.

will become more productive and energized.

will develop a habit of daily renewal. The feeling of being of purpose will inspire you to new heights - some you never dreamed possible.

will always be focused on your well-being, on what’s most important to you. You will spend your day doing what matters most.

When you stop singing the blues, you will truly know what it is to love yourself, the greatest gift of all…when you love yourself you are honoring the very nature of the human heart — your source of life.

Dr. Cynthia Barnett is the author of Stop Singing the Blues. In this book, you will find powerful strategies for hitting the high notes in your life. The book is filled with heartfelt stories of people who refused to let life get them down. You’ll see how they use their innate powers to conquer adversity and achieve what they want. Today they live their lives with joy and passion — as you can.

Dr. Barnett can be reached at her toll free number 1-877-404-4446 or http://www.stopsingingtheblues.com/

Dr. Cynthia Barnett is the author of Stop Singing the Blues. In this book, you will find powerful strategies for hitting the high notes in your life.

Tags: beliefs in self, , , , , , , , Confidence, dreams, empowerment, focus, personal renewal, Self esteem, success


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