Improving tips Information

It begins with you, and your attitude. There are a lot of misconceptions about what type of guys women date. Most guys start thinking, oh they only date the rich guys with thick wallets, or those supermodel guys who look super hot. First off, if you’re looking to find a date, you need to stop comparing yourself to other guys. This show isn’t about those guys with Porsches and Ferrari’s, it’s about you.

Believing that you can get a date will help you become more confident. If everyday, you think of yourself as a loser, then honestly, you will remain a loser. Actions have to come from you; the will to succeed and strive has to come from your desire. Sitting around and feeling like crap won’t help to your cause, trust me.

Now that we have focusing on yourself, and confidence taken care of, most guys start to be very self-conscious about their looks. Let’s face it, not everyone looks like Brad Pitt, and there’s nothing you can do about that it’s all genetics. What you can do, is start changing your habits and push them into tune. Brush your teeth regularly, shower everyday, buy some fancy deodorant (Axe, Old Spice), comb your hair (gel, hairspray), and most of all wear a comfortable yet good-looking outfit depending on where you go everyday. If your still in school or college, wear something casual, if you’re low on cash, visit some of the cheaper stores maybe in an outlet mall and look for coupons. There’s no excuse for not keeping yourself in shape either!

Now comes the hard part, facing the real world when approaching a girl. You have to break that shy bubble that you’re sitting in. Being silent, and thinking inside your head of all the things you COULD be doing, will not benefit anything. If you’re worried that you come to work everyday, and if you mess up your life will be ruined, then don’t try to find a date or flirt there! There are a lot of social gatherings, clubs, theaters, plays, etc. where there are plenty of women to pick up. You should use this opportunity to experiment.

Start talking, and joking around, the most important thing of all: try to have some fun. You will be surprised by all the success, and even if you do say something dumb or silly, there’s no need to worry because you’re not going to be seeing that person everyday anyway. Hopefully these are a few helpful tips to raise your self-esteem. The key is to be confident, don’t sweat, and have a good time.

Daniel Okula is a writer and a web publisher for dating articles from http://datingtalk.net. Find more similar articles on his website.

Share This

The development of a positive self-concept, or healthy self-esteem, plays a major role in life success and happiness.

Self-esteem is quite simply how we feel about ourselves and our behavior clearly reflects those feelings. The way we talk about ourselves is very important in everything we do. What we think determines how we feel and how we feel determines how we behave.

A strong positive self-concept allows individuals to open themselves to new opportunities and challenges both personally and professionally. People who lack self-esteem are less willing to move from their safety zone and so miss opportunities in life, love, and success.

We can often place the blame for low self-esteem on people in our past such as our parents, teachers, or other important people. However once we reach adulthood then we need to take responsibility for our own self-concept.

In many ways self-esteem is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Those with a positive self-image will constantly reinforce that image with new successes while those with a negative self-image will find new failures to reinforce that image. If your self-esteem needs bolstering then you must find ways to to bolster it.

One way to boost your self-concept is through self-talk. Psychologists have found that negative self-talk is behind depression and anxiety. It is important to emphasize to ourselves both positive self-statements and mental pictures. Do this several times every day until it becomes a habit and you do not need to force yourself to imagine a positive self-concept but instead allow it to become a reality.

A second important step is to decide what you can and cannot control. Change and act on the things that are in your control and release the things that are out of your control. You can control your eating and exercise habits but you cannot change your body type. You can control your personal hygiene and appearance but you cannot control whether others find you attractive. You can control how you feel about yourself but you cannot control how others feel about you.

Third, set up a competition you can win. This means only compete to improve yourself not to beat someone else. Constantly setting meaningful, achievable goals for yourself allows you to keep improving yourself and can also build your self-esteem by reinforcing your achievements.

Fourth, become a positive person. When you ponder a decision or change in your life then think of everything that could go right. Emphasize the positives even when something unexpected occurs. Recognize that mistakes are opportunities to try again. Keep the setback in perspective. Most mistakes are not personal tragedies but rather problems you now have the opportunity to solve. Success is often the tail of a string of failed attempts to get it right.

Finally, accept responsibility for yourself. Finding self-confidence requires accepting responsibility for your own happiness and recognizing that you are a product not only of your genetic code and your environment, but of the choices you make. Release the blame for your past and do not dwell on the others who may have contributed to your low self-esteem. That was yesterday. You and you alone are responsible for the person you will be today and tomorrow.

Building your self-esteem is crucial to your success and happiness. If you follow these five steps then you should be able to give your self-esteem a boost.

Deanna Mascle shares more words of inspiration in her blog Best Inspiration at http://BestInspirationOnline.com.

Share This

This past weekend was a very reflective one for me–and quite a few of our friends and family members. Every year in the small town where my mother, brother and I grew up (about 5 hours north of where I live presently), a water ski barefoot tournament is held in honor of my brother’s memory (he was an INCREDIBLE barefoot water skier–one of the best there is)!. These tournaments started in 1999 and we just had the 7th one this past weekend. This weekend was especially significant because we have had Caleb’s ashes for nine years and with his closest friends, we chose this year to spread them in the water

There are some things I must explain about “Up north” for you to understand the story and lesson I would like to share. This heavily-wooded little town holds about 600 people year round and thousands in the summer. Its main attraction is a chain of 9 lakes connected by channels. If you have a boat or love the water–this is the place to be.

Life moves at a slower pace there–or maybe life goes at the pace it should and we just move faster elsewhere. There aren’t any drive-through fast-food options for over 25 miles, so you actually have to plan what you are going to do for meals. Stores still close at 4PM and 5PM so commitments don’t eat into the nighttime hours. There isn’t a gym or fitness center for miles — so you’ll see many people swimming in the lake, walking, jogging, or biking. Hotels don’t have high-speed internet (that’s why I was so quiet LOL!) and there isn’t a Best Buy to grab a new computer game to keep a young one busy.

Despite all these “missing things” there is one thing you will notice as soon as you set foot in this little unincorporated town. People are connected. People laugh together, share together, work together. When tragedy strikes, people help and grieve together. Inside the slow pace something incredible happens–people live together instead of apart, and they cherish the moments versus missing them. After spending a weekend in “the woods,” it is easy to see why there is a voluntary simplicity movement where people are trading the fast-paced life for personal peace. Yet, living in “the woods” isn’t for all of us–and it isn’t for me (Could you imagine my life without high-speed internet - LOL)! So as I packed up my suitcase and returned home yesterday I packed 3 things I noticed that we can implement daily no matter where we live, that will enrich our lives.

Go with the flow - Sara was with me on this journey up north (some of you know Sara from the Health Challenge). By day 2 we had to chuckle as we discovered how “unwired” we were! Our hotel didn’t have a hairdryer or shampoo; we didn’t have high-speed; our cell phones were out-of-area in many places; and every task we had to complete for the tournament required at least 40 miles of driving round trip. We had the choice to “go with the flow” or become stressed because of what we needed to do, yet couldn’t get done. After washing my hair with a 1/8-inch thick bar of hotel soap, Sara and I connected for the daily duties. We both held the same attitude of going with the flow and letting the days unfold versus trying to create a “certain day.” For both of us, this made a big difference in our ability to enjoy and cherish the many moments that were to come.

Apply it to your life: How often do you get stressed versus going with the flow? How often do you focus on things outside of your control? How often do you try to create a certain memory or day versus letting the day unfold and bring its gifts to you? For at least 5 days each week, start your day with good intention and a solid plan of action, but when things go awry or off-plan, don’t miss the gifts the day might have in store because you are so busy trying to “push” the day back into something that it just isn’t.

Put people at the center - We are all susceptible to the paradox of living our lives backward. We put our to-do’s at the center of our life and put spending time with those we love AFTER we meet our to-do’s. Often, that can mean that our time with others is cut short when our commitments exceed our time limit. While certain time and seasons will require more to-dos than others, we must maintain our connection to the people we love.

Apply it to your life: Which people are at the core of your life? Family? Friends? List them out by name. As you look at your week, are you spending enough time with the people that matter most to you? Avoid letting your to-dos take away spending the time with the people that make life worth living and to-do’s worth doing.

Schedule living for today instead of tomorrow - Similar to the above concept, we often put off what we truly want and desire to do for once our must-do list is complete. Must-do lists are never complete–at least not while we are living! Take time every day, even if it is just a little bit of time, to do something you want-to-do. “Tomorrows” are not promises–just hopes. Today is our only guarantee. Let’s live it while we have it.

Apply it to your life: Where have you sacrificed your want-to-dos for your must-dos to the point that you never arrive at your want-to-dos? How can you incorporate some of your want-to-dos daily?

Leave a legacy: As I mentioned earlier, the weekend was spent holding this memorial tournament for my brother. For various reasons which are too lengthy to explain, there was some confusion over the coordination of the annual tournament this year. In fact, just two short weeks ago it didn’t even look like there would be a tournament. When word got around that the tournament might be cancelled, people voluntarily stepped up on their own and made it happen. Some of the people that became involved were his friends, others never knew him but knew of him. Stores made donations of food and raffle prizes. Sponsors stepped up without being asked. Celebrations were scheduled. Permits, insurance, ski boats, skiers - the laundry list of things needed for a tournament seemed to appear out of “thin air” from caring hearts. When we arrived Friday evening a local restaurant had a celebration in his honor playing videos of his ski performances, giving away free food and free T-shirts that said “Footin’ in the Clouds.” (Footin’ is short for barefoot waterskiing.) What couldn’t be denied was how many people this simple soul had touched in his 27 years of living. Nine years after his death, he is as present in that community as ever, touching lives and bringing out the best in people. One can only leave a legacy like that by fully living each day and caring and embracing those around them.

Apply it to your life: You can’t leave a legacy if you are living in the future - you can only create a legacy by living each day fully. What can you do to stay more in touch with each day and truly embrace its gifts?

Try it! Choose one or more of the lessons I brought home and write it out on an index card and post it where you will see it often. Remember that tomorrow is determined by today. Make today count–and challenge life!

Brook Noel is the creator of the best-selling 70 Day Life Makeover Program for Women .. The Change Your Life Challenge. http://www.changeyourlifechallenge.com
This program has helped thousands of women take control of their home, finances, relationships, clutter, time-managmenet and more.

She is the author of 19 books and maintains three free newsletters. The Daily Rush is devoted to quick and easy recipes; Good Morning! is a daily newsletter to get your day off to a great start and The Challenge Weekly offers a personal challenge for self-improvement each week. To sign up for these free newsletters please visit http://www.changeyourlifechallenge.com/news.htm

Share This