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Are you looking into ways to help you to gain more confidence? Have you a lack of self-belief? Do you think that you are a weak person? Would you like to be more care-free person? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, this article may well be worth a read. I am going to write about how people can go about increasing their self-confidence. This advice is what I have used to help myself turn from an often depressive person to a now happy and relaxed young man.

My name is Steve Hill and I have to admit that for the first twenty-two years of my life, I did not exactly live life to the full or in the correct manner. I was basically like a scared rabbit, I worried about almost all aspects of life and was a very negative person. I needed to change this approach as I was not exactly a happy chap. Ten years ago I went about making this change by reading literature about self-confidence and by trying to learn how other people coped with their problems compared to me.

One of my many weaknesses was that I was very paranoid about what other people thought of me. I was desperate for people to like me and would easily get upset if people criticised me or made fun of me etc. In a way, I tried to hard to earn this type of respect and would do things and attend functions which I did not really want to, just to please other people of course.

I have now realised and accepted that it is important for me to be truthful to myself. I should be doing what I want to do and if people do not like me for whatever reason, then that is fine, I have enough people who do.

I have also decided to stop worrying about things like the future, money, relationships and work. Stressing about these and other things does not make life an easier, in fact it makes it a lot harder. There is no time in life for this type of fear, I should be spending this time trying to improve and enjoying my life. If something goes wrong which of course it will from time to time, I will deal with it when it happens, in a very positive and dynamic way.

As an example of my new found inner confidence was something that happened during a recent evening out I had with some friends of mine. We were all drinking quite a lot of beer and it was clear that most of my friends were intent on becoming very drunk. I like a drink but not half as much as what other people seem to. At around nine o’clock I had basically had enough of drinking alcohol and started to drink diet coke. My friends gave me some funny looks and made some comments, they were suggesting that I was not a true male. I did not care what they thought of me and told them so. If I want to drink diet coke then I will.

I am happy with my latest approach to life and am determined not to go back to the way I used to think and live. I do stress at times but quickly attempt to snap out of it by thinking in a more positive way.

Stephen Hill helps to promote a number of websites including:

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We all dream of our children being confident with high self-esteem.
It’s vital we remember that everything we say to a child can have a positive or negative consequence on their minds.

Sometimes all it takes is one knock back, one put down or one embarrassment to affect their behaviour well into their adult life if not for the rest of their days.

Mindful parenting is the answer. That’s being consciously aware of how you are communicating to your child in verbal and non-verbal ways. Consider yourself as a guide in your child’s life. Holding their hand along the way, at times walking just in front to lead them, sometimes walking by their side discovering together and at other times walking a step or two behind, supporting and encouraging them, being there to love them if they falter from their path. And it is THEIR path.

To help you achieve this I’ve given you some ideas below. Pick one or two to begin with and work with them until you feel comfortable. Then pick the next ones on the list you want to try.

Your rewards will be immense as parenting becomes relaxed and the family bonds grow stronger.

10 tips for building confidence and self-esteem:

Give responsibility appropriate to ability. Consider yourself as the guide that enables or disables a child’s growth.

Never tell a child they are wrong. Build co-operation. Remind them what you admire about them and ask them to try things a different way next time.

Give genuine praise for positive progression in schoolwork and things they do at home. Any step forward is progression. Praise it!

Let children hear you telling others about their strengths and progression - they’ll believe it more!

Involve them in parent/teacher discussions. Make it positive and solution focused.

Sit or crouch down when talking to them. Be on their eye level.

Ask for their opinions and validate them.

Together write a list of all their qualities. Encourage your child to come up with them and read the list daily.

Find something good in them everyday. Tell them.

Have teachers tell them what they are good at. When they could do better show them when they have previously done it well and refer them to it.

Involve them in family discussions and decisions. Listen to their ideas. Try to work with their ideas and tell them well done for their contribution.

Happy families

Jo

Jo Ball
Unstoppable Life

Jo Ball (LCA, Dip, NLP), Founder and Senior Coach at Unstoppable Life, would like to invite you to join her free personal development newsletter community. She runs Family enhancing Bushcraft weekends that bring your family and nature closer together. To join her newsletter or check out the weekends visit http://www.unstoppablelife.com.

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Have you ever had one of those days where you just wish you
were in a better mood? Perhaps you tried to shift your state
of mind to something better but struggled to achieve it.

Sometimes we get stuck in our own ’stinking thinking’ and
forget how easy it is to feel happier, so here are seven
simple ways to lift your mood that many people have found
useful and some of them may surprise you!

1. Go for a walk.

Most folk know that going for a short daily walk is one of
the best forms of exercise. If you can, go into a natural
environment with flowers, trees and birds. What will you
notice first? The different shades of greenery, the fresh
smell of country air, the bird sounds, or the sunlight
shining through the tree foliage.

2. Listen to some quality music.

Music creates magical effects. It can shift the listeners
state
within moments. Why not dig out that album you haven’t
listened to in ages or why not tune in your radio to
something you’ve never listened to before.

3. Think of others less fortunate.

The fact that you are reading this article suggests that you
are probably much better off than many, many people on this
planet! What if you were to imagine being in space looking
down on the amazing beautiful earth, noticing all the oceans
and lands with the clouds above… And then thinking about
the fact that there are many human beings that are starving,
homeless and in lots of pain… Allow your compassion for
them to grow.

4. Read something radical!

How many different types of magazines can you get these
days?! Have you ever waltzed into a big newsagents and just
browsed through the magazine racks? It’s incredible. Why not
buy a magazine you wouldn’t normally buy. You never know you
may discover something wonderful!

5. Laughing at laughter.

Have you ever had the experience when you just laugh for no
good reason? Isn’t it great! Laughter is one of the best
ways to lift your spirits. Can’t think of anything funny?
Try grinning at yourself insanely in the mirror and notice
how difficult it becomes to control your giggle muscles!

6. Simple breathing meditation.

A great exercise that you can do anywhere is a simple
breathing meditation. No need to dress in orange robes.
Simply find yourself in a comfortable sitting position with
your back straight. Now close your eyes and become aware of
the flow of air into and out of your nostrils. That’s it! Do
this for 10/15 minutes and you’ll find yourself pleasantly
surprised how you feel afterward.

7. Doodling just for fun!

Remember when you were young and you used to doodle with
crayons for hours. Kids love drawing silly little pictures,
why not adults? So get some pens, pencils, crayons or
whatever you have and just draw - doodle away until your
state of mind shifts.

You might agree that these are all pretty simple and that’s
what’s so good about them. Making changes, mundane or
profoundly life-changing, are easily and quickly achieved by
putting into action simple ideas, methods, tools and
techniques.

Colin G Smith is a licensed Master Practitioner of Neuro-
Linguistic Programming (NLP) and author of ‘The NLP
ToolBox’, a personal development book that enables the
reader to master any area of their life with amazing speed.
Complete information on Colin G Smith’s books are available
at his website, including a FREE personal development eBook.
http://www.NLPToolBox.com

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