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What is said to us, and how it is said, can make or break self-worth for a lifetime! Low self-worth, poor self-image and negative self-esteem are highly toxic and affect not just the individual, but those around him or her as well. Chances for a life of fulfillment and happiness are virtually nil.

Oprah has been quoted as stating that low self-worth is a rampant unseen epidemic in this country. This was apparently said in the context of school bullying and the shootings at Columbine. Sadly, several more scenarios not unlike Columbine have taken place only recently.

Hurtful words go zing right to the deepest, most vulnerable parts of a person. It is now common knowledge that children who are chided, criticized, ridiculed and made to feel like they are bad or undeserving, grow up with a tremendous amount of baggage that weighs down the spirit and darkens the soul.

Words matter. Long after childhood has come and gone, most people listen to persistent negative self-talk, or react from subconscious beliefs about themselves that stemmed from the comments or opinions of others. Even though some beliefs are not at the conscious level at all, their influence shows up in life in many different ways.

Being an abuser or a victim, an underachiever, overachiever, workaholic, or becoming addicted to substances or people, or failing in relationships, succumbing to depression, succumbing to angry rages - these and many other behaviors can be attributed to poor self-image and negative self-esteem. Most such behaviors can be traced to the fear that lurks inside the self, caused by someone else’s words or actions.

While some people function very well on the surface for a long time, others suffer noticeably at a young age. So far, I haven’t said anything that most of us aren’t already well aware of. The media has been full of tragic stories of kids killing kids. Ridicule and bullying identified as major factors prior to the violence.

The good news is that a lot CAN be done to offset the poor programming in someone’s life. Programs that teach virtues and values can and do bring terrific results in schools. If you would like to check out just one that does marvellous work with educators and kids, go to: http://virtuesproject.com Adults who feel trapped by their low self-esteem issues, afraid to reach higher because they might fail, or who simply don’t have the tools to generate change, can and absolutely will transform their lives if they have a strong desire to do so. A life coach could be just the catalyst needed to lighten the load and untangle the knots. A professional life coach understands life’s journeys, and truly empowers people.

Suddenly, the individual who feels battered and broken has a champion who is 100% there for them, and focused on their own beauty and possibilities for a rich new life. When a life coach talks to you, you can be sure you will hear encouraging, supportive, ‘I believe in you!’ words. There’s no feeling quite like it! (Oh, you will be challenged too, like a swimming coach will do, who knows you can improve your strokes. Your performance is only better because of it.)

To create healthy self-esteem following years of living in a delusion of what is true about you, will take deep inner exploration. There are wonderful resources to help in the process and you can undertake a journey of discovery using books, CD’s, attending seminars, and taking courses. But, be sure to investigate the option of life coaching as well. A personal life coach is able to help you become crystal clear about your internal complexities - and your incredible value - very quickly. If time is money, life coaching will truly be your least expensive option.

Copyright © 2006. Sylvia MacKenzie. All Rights Reserved.

Sylvia MacKenzie, formerly a Management Consultant specializing in marketing and promotional campaigns and investor relations campaigns, now finds deep satisfaction and fulfillment in her career as Personal Life Coach. Drawing upon more than 25 years of experience at teaching communications skills, coaching and mentoring youth and adults, she is currently developing personal development resources and focuses on individual life transitions.

You can learn more about Sylvia at this link: http://www.powerlife-solutions.com/about.html This new and improved website is packed with Introductory offers not to be missed! Check out her multi-media ebook — Life Skills: An Owner’s Manual. To be put on the notification list for when this major work is completed, go to: http://www.powerlife-solutions.com/life_skills.html Excellent resources and tools for self-improvement, including how to put low self-worth behind you FOREVER!

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Sometimes life experiences can be like a lemon-flavored Tootsie Roll Pop. Hard and sour on the outside. Soft and sweet on the inside. Take getting dumped in a relationship for instance. Facing life alone can be tough for many people. Yet, there are behind-the-scenes benefits to every predicament! There’s even a sweet treat hidden within the experience of losing a lover.

You can find the “pop”the sweetnessinside your tart tootsie roll by looking behind the surface appearance of your situation. Ask yourself some probing questions: “What’s been the beneficial effect of my predicament?” “What did I learn that helped me become a better person?” and “What good eventually came out of the situation?”

By focusing on how the experience served you, you can discover how the loss of a relationship can restore your trust in life. Or how losing your job or health can propel you closer to your dreams!

Let’s check out some real-life lemons. Here are some examples of the unseen rewards of losing your relationship, job and health. And how the sour aftertaste can become sweet!

Benefits of Being Dumped

I was secure in my second marriage. Then, after 15 years, my husband suddenly abandoned me to marry an older woman. You heard rightan older woman! Go figure!

For years following the divorce, my feelings of hurt and anger were compounded by a sense of failure and humiliation. A decade later, I still feel the sting of betrayal. But now I’m armed with the outlook that every experience serves me. “So,” I ponder, “what could possibly be the hidden value of getting dumped?”

While searching for the benefits, I unearth my involvement in the betrayal. The more honest I am, the more I uncover the truth: I’m the cause of my husband leaving me!

I Knew at the Altar!

I realize now that the betrayal began at the church altar. As my fianc

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Many people suffer from a lack of self-confidence; a feeling that spirals into placing ones own self-esteem down a bottomless abyss through the affirmations pulled from any of the following sources: peers, co-workers, family, friends, magazines, TV commercials, and particularly yourself (though the list could be endless). Without realizing it, in a blink you define yourself by other people’s standards of what they feel you are or you should be, forgetting the notion that your life must be lived on your own terms and not those of others. My company, Living by Design, nails the style of life that should be lived head onyour life, your design.

Shakespeare once said all the worlds a stage and we are merely players acting out our part. But, if we are actors with inherited gifts and traits who can alter the course of our own life at any given moment, why is it we do not chose to do so? Are we destined to live a role we know we were inherently not meant to play?

I love the coined phrase “if you could step into someone else’s shoes” Haven’t you been told this more than once? I have! Enough times that, as I leafed through the magazines and saw the beautiful faces and bodies of the models displayed on the pages that I thought to myself “what is the difference between them and me”? I mean really? Absolutely none. Looking at myself in the mirror one night I felt that I had been hit by a lightening bolt that actually preempted me to write this article (note the date here please 10/27/05). Self-confidence, or just plain confidence at any rate, and perception was directly linked to ones imagery or role they chose to play. What if the role I chose to play could be changed at any single moment through real imagery? Not just knowing a goal and wanting the goal, by using imagery and directly taking the role I wish to play and immediately applying it to my life as if I was stepping through a mirror into another “stage” of life that I was truly meant to live.

Let me go on to explain. A person would like to lose weight, look great, get in shape, and be on top of their game. They go to the store and buy Self Magazine or Muscle and Fitness Magazine and peer through the pages in a dream-like state of “I wish I could look like that” or “I could never be like that” followed by grabbing some diet pills off the shelf, getting in their car, driving to McDonalds and ordering fries and a hamburger. Self-defeating from point A to point B.

Take that same scene and alter it a bit. Now you have the magazines, but zero in on a particularly pleasing look you would like to have. Once again, your imagination takes shape and you begin to go through the thought patternsSTOP! This is where the altering moment begins.

To be or not to be, that is the question. To be what you want to be takes being the person you would like to be right then, right there. Consider, for a moment, how a person you would wish to be lives? What food do they eat? What is their lifestyle like? What type of clothes do they where? How do the smile? How do they interact with other people? How to they care for others? What type of home-life do they have? How do they feel about themselves? What do they project to others? What are their beliefs? Now, with all that in mind.imagine and be the person you wish to be. Live this role and don’t apologize for it. McDonalds drive through now becomes a diet coke and a saladfat free dressing please. After work (drinking two bottles of water to keep the body hydrated) you go to the gym of your choice to sign up and ask for a private instructor for a week or two to decide on the best routine for you. The magazines are now part of your journalsyour wealth of knowledge. Once home, you clean the pantry out of all the Little Debbie cakes that are stored up along with all the sugary cereal that is alongside with it. You step into the rolethe role you were meant to live.

Imagery is about you and affects every part of your world; family, community, work-life, home-life, educational, religious, intimate relationships .and range of beliefs and states in areas such as spiritual, financial, physical, and mental. Imagery is not about the past and holds no reference to any past issues or actions. It’s about the here and now and deciding in an instant that you will be the person you wish to be and taking on the role immediately that you are meant to live. No magic tricks hereit’s real, it can happen for youyour life, your stageplay the best role of your life now!

To learn more about imagery and how imagery can work for you, contact Gina Kovacs, owner and director of Living by Design, Life Coaching and Wellness Solutions at 518-373-2815 or 866-205-9917.

Gina Kovacs is a Life Coach, certified through the Coaching Academy of North America, Inc., specializing in the fields of personal, relationship, spiritual, and weight loss coaching. Gina holds a BA in Philosophy from Siena College and is an author and motivational speaker in the field of personal and life coaching. Please logon to http://www.livingalifebydesign.com for more information on how Living by Design can help you.

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