Improving tips Information

The development of a positive self-concept, or healthy self-esteem, plays a major role in life success and happiness.

Self-esteem is quite simply how we feel about ourselves and our behavior clearly reflects those feelings. The way we talk about ourselves is very important in everything we do. What we think determines how we feel and how we feel determines how we behave.

A strong positive self-concept allows individuals to open themselves to new opportunities and challenges both personally and professionally. People who lack self-esteem are less willing to move from their safety zone and so miss opportunities in life, love, and success.

We can often place the blame for low self-esteem on people in our past such as our parents, teachers, or other important people. However once we reach adulthood then we need to take responsibility for our own self-concept.

In many ways self-esteem is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Those with a positive self-image will constantly reinforce that image with new successes while those with a negative self-image will find new failures to reinforce that image. If your self-esteem needs bolstering then you must find ways to to bolster it.

One way to boost your self-concept is through self-talk. Psychologists have found that negative self-talk is behind depression and anxiety. It is important to emphasize to ourselves both positive self-statements and mental pictures. Do this several times every day until it becomes a habit and you do not need to force yourself to imagine a positive self-concept but instead allow it to become a reality.

A second important step is to decide what you can and cannot control. Change and act on the things that are in your control and release the things that are out of your control. You can control your eating and exercise habits but you cannot change your body type. You can control your personal hygiene and appearance but you cannot control whether others find you attractive. You can control how you feel about yourself but you cannot control how others feel about you.

Third, set up a competition you can win. This means only compete to improve yourself not to beat someone else. Constantly setting meaningful, achievable goals for yourself allows you to keep improving yourself and can also build your self-esteem by reinforcing your achievements.

Fourth, become a positive person. When you ponder a decision or change in your life then think of everything that could go right. Emphasize the positives even when something unexpected occurs. Recognize that mistakes are opportunities to try again. Keep the setback in perspective. Most mistakes are not personal tragedies but rather problems you now have the opportunity to solve. Success is often the tail of a string of failed attempts to get it right.

Finally, accept responsibility for yourself. Finding self-confidence requires accepting responsibility for your own happiness and recognizing that you are a product not only of your genetic code and your environment, but of the choices you make. Release the blame for your past and do not dwell on the others who may have contributed to your low self-esteem. That was yesterday. You and you alone are responsible for the person you will be today and tomorrow.

Building your self-esteem is crucial to your success and happiness. If you follow these five steps then you should be able to give your self-esteem a boost.

Deanna Mascle shares more words of inspiration in her blog Best Inspiration at http://BestInspirationOnline.com.

Share This

Ever find yourself in kind of a funk, faced with having to do something you don’t want to do? A project at work? A chore on that Honey-Do list your spouse keeps adding to. It happens every day. To millions of us. Life isn’t always fun. Neither are the things we’re expected to do.

Maybe it’s time for “The Motivators,” those dynamic forces of accomplishment who - through prodding, inspiration and the skilled use of rewards and punishment - set us reluctant dolts in motion during just such times.

What is it that motivates you? What gets your engine revving when you have to do something you’d rather not? It might help if we take a look at what motivation is - or is supposed to be.

Motivation is generally accepted to mean “having the desire and willingness to do something.” That’s all well and good, but we’re talking here about the UNwilling having to do the UNdesirable.

So, let’s see what The Motivators can do to help us. By the way, that’s just their stage name. In real life their known as the Needs Brothers. Allow me to introduce them. There’s the smallest of the Needs, Physiological. Next in line are the twins, Safety and Security, followed by Social Needs, then Self-Esteem. And, finally, there’s the biggest, most senior brother, Self-Actualization, said to be the grandest Need of all.

The father of these six was Abraham Maslow. Their mother? Psychology. The Needs came to life in 1943 as Maslow’s theory titled Hierarchy of Human Needs. But enough of science. What does this all mean to you and me? Simply put, we humans have wants and desires that influence our behavior. But, we’re told, only unsatisfied needs can influence what we do and say. Satisfied needs cannot.

So, let’s see what Self-Actualization can do to help us accomplish our dreaded tasks. Self-Actualization, to paraphrase Maslow, is the natural growth of a motivating force within each of us, but, more concisely, it’s our ability to grow from within, the very essence of who we are as individuals. Self-Actualization, then, is our Need to reach our fullest potential as individuals.

Moving from the world of psychology to something more real, what it all means is that each of us already has, deep within ourselves, what it takes to do those dreaded jobs. All we have to do is dig down, pull it out, and put it to use.

Oh, in case you’re interested, you’ll recognize Self-Actualization by the T-shirt he’s always wearing. He refuses to part with it because he wrote his favorite saying across the front with a big, fat marker: “Find a way!”

© 2006, Philip A. Grisolia, CBC

A respected authority on motivation, Phil Grisolia is the author of “Wise Words - 1,001 Truths to Inspire, Enlighten and Enrich Everyday Life,” available at http://xlibris.com and through major booksellers. A wordsmith by profession, Phil puts his motivational skills to use both as an educator and as an award-winning copywriter. Learn more about Phil, his book and his work by visiting him at http://PhilGrisolia.com

Share This

“What is the most appropriate form of appreciation and/or service I can provide to each person?” Aren’t you just amazed sometimes about how obvious it is that you or someone around you fails to get recognized for accomplishments? It’s easy to see in others isn’t it? When it’s someone else who should show the gratitude, it ridiculously obvious, isn’t it?

But when it’s US that should hand out some thanks and show that we feel lucky to have the support and help we DO get, we quite often are just as guilty of “forgetting” to do this as those we despise. Isn’t that right? I have watched some of the most incredible performers in the work arena get literally forgotten when it comes to pats on the back. More responsibility and longer hours are what they usually get. And less thanks.

Is it any wonder that it’s tough to keep good employees? There’s an unfortunate tendency to believe that most people just know they’re good, or have done well, so we don’t bother to tell them. In the last few years, psychologists recently did a study about what employees want in their jobs. And pay ranked something like number seven in importance. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t important. Just that on a day-to-day basis, that’s not what we dwell on when it comes to job satisfaction. Feeling appreciated and a feeling of being in on things ranked at the top of most lists.

If some of a company’s computers worth several thousand dollars came up missing, they’d call the police and a full investigation would ensue. The company would want them back and would like to see the crooks behind bars. But if a key employee were to leave suddenly, that person’s bosses and the company owners would likely never get down to the root of why they just lost an asset worth possibly hundreds of thousands (or even millions) of dollars! But I know why.

Most people don’t want to take the time (or accept the possible guilt). Most of us simply don’t understand the implications of not showing how much other people mean to us. With great regret, I can say without hesitation that I have been very guilty of this. But the awareness of it is the first step towards having the power of appreciation help rather than hurt you. If you say, “I guess I should do more of that (ha-ha, yeah, right!)” then you are killing your chances of true and lasting success and happiness in business, career and personal matters.

None of us likes to be taken for granted. Many people have gone nearly insane because they don’t feel appreciated. Think about times when you or someone you know got upset and/or acted in irrational ways. Aren’t many of those times also times when you felt unappreciated, not necessary or that your opinion doesn’t matter? You see? It colors all your relationships–professional AND personal.

Cruising through your days just expecting that John is going to do what you need him to do because that’s what he’s always done in the past is crazy. Pretty soon John’s going to be gone… and you won’t even know why. But now, at least, you’ll have that seed of an idea why.

When you’d like a word of encouragement or a compliment of a job well done, even a little acknowledgement, and it doesn’t come, notice how it feels. I hope it doesn’t wreck your day, but just notice it. Feel it. Well, that’s what others feel, too, when their deeds are ignored.

You could quickly become the most popular person in school, work, or just about anywhere else. Just start noticing small things. Pick them out and give a quick thanks to the person who was responsible. Do this for a couple days or weeks and you’ll see people instantly responding to you. Try it out and watch everything change!!!

WINNING BELIEFS:

– I notice the little things that people do for me & others

– I’m quick to say thank you for a job well done

– I appreciate all the things people do for me

– Other people like to be around me now

– People like doing things for me now

– I’m well liked by others

– My opinion is important to others

EMPOWERING QUOTE:
“Hay is more acceptable to an ass than gold.” -Latin Proverb

What if you had the same minute-by-minute thoughts as the super successful? Mike Brescia has developed the ultimate mental conditioning programs that can help anyone wipe out intense fears and enjoy huge successes in all areas of life.

Mike Brescia is the creator of the world-renowned Think Right Now! Accelerated Success Conditioning Programs. Mike becomes your own personal success coach - guiding, motivating, inspiring, teaching and moving you in a way that only a best friend would. Mike will inspire you to take a hard look at yourself and be accountable for what you are in life, to be dissatisfied with the “old you” and the bad habits, to take action, ready to happily do whatever it takes to win the game of life.

Find descriptions of all his products at www.thinkrightnow.net

Share This