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Are you looking into ways to help you to gain more confidence? Have you a lack of self-belief? Do you think that you are a weak person? Would you like to be more care-free person? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, this article may well be worth a read. I am going to write about how people can go about increasing their self-confidence. This advice is what I have used to help myself turn from an often depressive person to a now happy and relaxed young man.

My name is Steve Hill and I have to admit that for the first twenty-two years of my life, I did not exactly live life to the full or in the correct manner. I was basically like a scared rabbit, I worried about almost all aspects of life and was a very negative person. I needed to change this approach as I was not exactly a happy chap. Ten years ago I went about making this change by reading literature about self-confidence and by trying to learn how other people coped with their problems compared to me.

One of my many weaknesses was that I was very paranoid about what other people thought of me. I was desperate for people to like me and would easily get upset if people criticised me or made fun of me etc. In a way, I tried to hard to earn this type of respect and would do things and attend functions which I did not really want to, just to please other people of course.

I have now realised and accepted that it is important for me to be truthful to myself. I should be doing what I want to do and if people do not like me for whatever reason, then that is fine, I have enough people who do.

I have also decided to stop worrying about things like the future, money, relationships and work. Stressing about these and other things does not make life an easier, in fact it makes it a lot harder. There is no time in life for this type of fear, I should be spending this time trying to improve and enjoying my life. If something goes wrong which of course it will from time to time, I will deal with it when it happens, in a very positive and dynamic way.

As an example of my new found inner confidence was something that happened during a recent evening out I had with some friends of mine. We were all drinking quite a lot of beer and it was clear that most of my friends were intent on becoming very drunk. I like a drink but not half as much as what other people seem to. At around nine o’clock I had basically had enough of drinking alcohol and started to drink diet coke. My friends gave me some funny looks and made some comments, they were suggesting that I was not a true male. I did not care what they thought of me and told them so. If I want to drink diet coke then I will.

I am happy with my latest approach to life and am determined not to go back to the way I used to think and live. I do stress at times but quickly attempt to snap out of it by thinking in a more positive way.

Stephen Hill helps to promote a number of websites including:

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No; I’m not hearing voicesvery much, at least. However, I do have a question for you: How do you manage that little voice inside your head? Now if you’re thinking, “What little voice is he talking about?” that would be the little voice right there!

You know, that voice that tries to convince you that something is too hard, or too painful, or too embarrassing or too risky. Yes, the same voice that might even try to tell you that you’re not good enough, that other people don’t like you or that you won’t ever amount to anything. Your voice might even go as far as trying to convince that you’re not even worthy of taking up space or having a voice, and that you are just a loser at the core.

That one voice has been THE most destructive force that I have encountered in working with people over the last 20 years. I’ve seen it make many beautiful people think that they were ugly, smart people think that they were dumb and creative people think that all their creative expression was a joke.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had quite enough of that voice. It’s time to fight back.

And the warfare you engage in with your little voice is quite simpleas long as you keep it simple. When you hear your little voice trying to convince you of any of the limiting beliefs or distortions like the ones listed above, you can simply respond to it by saying: “Thank you for sharing.”

No inner power struggles, no calling yourself stupid for thinking that and no denial of what is really going on. Just those 4 simple words: “Thank you for sharing.”

Now let’s suppose that you had a really stubborn inner voice and it get kept coming back after your self-intervention. Well, let me ask you this: If you have to say “Thank you for sharing”
100 times in a day, isn’t that better than continually hearing that chatter get more and more powerful and destructive?

And besides, this is the beginning of you retraining your brain. That’s right; you can actually reprogram your brain to respond differently. It’s called conditioning and it works just the same way that Pavlov’s dog responded in the ever famous experiment that started Pavlov’s theory.

Keep saying “Thank you for sharing.” After a while it will even start to seem funny. In fact, after a while you might even find your self saying, “Hi, it’s you again. Have a seat and I’ll listen to you when I’m done living.”

And just in case you were wondering; that is YOUR voice that you’re hearing. Don’t you think it’s a good time to just do a little redirection?

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http://www.realationshipcoach.com/discoveryprogram.html

Ken Donaldson has been based in Tampa Bay offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His REALationship Coaching programs empower people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships by building a powerful relationship with themselves first. Visit his website at http://www.REALationshipCoach.com for more information and sign-up his free e-program Illuminations and Sparks of Brilliance. Ken is also the author of the upcoming book Marry YourSelf First!

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