Improving tips Information

The development of a positive self-concept, or healthy self-esteem, plays a major role in life success and happiness.

Self-esteem is quite simply how we feel about ourselves and our behavior clearly reflects those feelings. The way we talk about ourselves is very important in everything we do. What we think determines how we feel and how we feel determines how we behave.

A strong positive self-concept allows individuals to open themselves to new opportunities and challenges both personally and professionally. People who lack self-esteem are less willing to move from their safety zone and so miss opportunities in life, love, and success.

We can often place the blame for low self-esteem on people in our past such as our parents, teachers, or other important people. However once we reach adulthood then we need to take responsibility for our own self-concept.

In many ways self-esteem is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Those with a positive self-image will constantly reinforce that image with new successes while those with a negative self-image will find new failures to reinforce that image. If your self-esteem needs bolstering then you must find ways to to bolster it.

One way to boost your self-concept is through self-talk. Psychologists have found that negative self-talk is behind depression and anxiety. It is important to emphasize to ourselves both positive self-statements and mental pictures. Do this several times every day until it becomes a habit and you do not need to force yourself to imagine a positive self-concept but instead allow it to become a reality.

A second important step is to decide what you can and cannot control. Change and act on the things that are in your control and release the things that are out of your control. You can control your eating and exercise habits but you cannot change your body type. You can control your personal hygiene and appearance but you cannot control whether others find you attractive. You can control how you feel about yourself but you cannot control how others feel about you.

Third, set up a competition you can win. This means only compete to improve yourself not to beat someone else. Constantly setting meaningful, achievable goals for yourself allows you to keep improving yourself and can also build your self-esteem by reinforcing your achievements.

Fourth, become a positive person. When you ponder a decision or change in your life then think of everything that could go right. Emphasize the positives even when something unexpected occurs. Recognize that mistakes are opportunities to try again. Keep the setback in perspective. Most mistakes are not personal tragedies but rather problems you now have the opportunity to solve. Success is often the tail of a string of failed attempts to get it right.

Finally, accept responsibility for yourself. Finding self-confidence requires accepting responsibility for your own happiness and recognizing that you are a product not only of your genetic code and your environment, but of the choices you make. Release the blame for your past and do not dwell on the others who may have contributed to your low self-esteem. That was yesterday. You and you alone are responsible for the person you will be today and tomorrow.

Building your self-esteem is crucial to your success and happiness. If you follow these five steps then you should be able to give your self-esteem a boost.

Deanna Mascle shares more words of inspiration in her blog Best Inspiration at http://BestInspirationOnline.com.

Share This

“I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will
build My church; and the gates of Hades will not overpower it.” -
Matthew 16:18 (NASU)

The words of Jesus above spoken to Peter conveyed many meanings.
They were not only an utterance of prophecy. They were meant also
to build up and to give Peter a life of significance. Peter was a
man given to impulse, a characteristic that belied an obvious
need to be esteemed.

There are many like Peter, people who desire a life of
significance. Yet, in this world of increasing materialism,
instant gratification and compromised morals, finding
significance is more like a search for the Holy Grail.

Still, living a life of significance is possible. It begins with
four thoughts we can find in the verse quoted above.

1. KNOW YOU ARE SPECIAL (”…You are Peter”). Jesus wasn’t merely
reminding Peter of his name. He was, in effect, saying, “You are
somebody. In fact, you’re no longer Simon the fisherman, but
Peter the rock!”

God doesn’t create junk. He created you with a perfect and
eternal plan in mind that, when fulfilled, will reveal the
profound love God has for all mankind. He’s given you skills,
talents and gifts so you can do your part in that divine plan.

2. KNOW YOUR PURPOSE (”…upon this rock I will build My
church”). God’s divine plan is fulfilled when we realize that we
are in this world for a purpose. Certainly that purpose isn’t
confined in building our own home, owning the latest car model or
wearing the most expensive jewelry.

Our purpose would definitely have something to do with other
people. Thus, we must find our purpose in serving others or
meeting their needs. A purpose that seeks to benefit others is
not only noble, it is divine.

3. KNOW YOUR WEAKNESSES (”…and the gates of Hades will not
overpower it”). What defeats divine purpose is our weaknesses,
because weaknesses tend to feed the self and cause problems (e.g.
Peter’s denial of Jesus).

Yet, when we admit our weaknesses and seek to correct them, we
consequently mature and become more of a blessing to those we
serve or relate with. In turn, we also help others mature. We
must not go through life with a defeatist but a victoriuos
attitude. This means we must first conquer our weaknesses.

4. KNOW WHO GOD IS (”I also say to you…”). It was Jesus who was
addressing Peter, therefore he was trustworthy and believable.
But, more than this, he was the Son of God!

And this is the crux of the matter: It is within a relationship
with God that we can find significance in our lives. It’s not
about religion; it’s not about doctrines and dogma; it’s not
about church and denomination.

It’s about relationship. In our mundane world, we need to be able
to touch the divine. To do so is to begin to live a life of
significance.

Copyright © 2004 DF Mapa

DF Mapa has been writing for over 20 years and his articles have appeared in various online and offline publications. He is the Associate and Youth Pastor of Banilad Alliance Fellowship (http://baniladalliance.org).To subscribe to receive these weekly messages, send a blank e-mail to:
fromthewilderness-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
or visit our website.

Share This

She was waiting for me when I returned from a meeting. Standing outside my office door, I could tell by her downward glance, Jodie was not there to give me good news on the project. Despite her confident, enthusiastic and definitive style, she failed to deliver what she had pitched. It was not the first time.

Jodie operated counter to the Scottish proverb advising: “Never let your feet run faster than your shoes.” She was full of ideas, full of promise, full of idealism, and short on results. Her over-promising was stalling her career. You see, results are what differentiate people who are winning at working from people who aren’t. Results are how both companies, and people, prosper. As much as Jodie talked, with absolute confidence, about what she was going to do, she didn’t do it.

There’s no shortage of Jodies in the workplace. There are too many people talking about what they’re going to do, want to do, or are thinking about doing. They paint intriguing pictures with their exuberance and that helps them get the assignment. But they fail to deliver on the promise. In my twenty years in management, I found them in both consultants and in-house staffs. I’ve even hired a few. I guess I wanted to believe they could do what they said.

But I learned they’re much like town billboards claiming “best hamburger in the world,” or books and magazines touting that I can have flat abs in five minutes a day, build self-esteem in ten days, and become a millionaire in five easy steps. While promises may be the essence of advertising, and over-promising may get books, magazines, products and services sold, they cause disappointment. Unfilled promises build our hopes and diminish our trust.

So, when you find someone who builds your hopes and enhances your trust, take note. You see, there’s one talent that defines people who are winning at working. They don’t disappoint. They deliver. They consistently produce what they say they will. And they do it again and again and again. They may pitch their ideas with passion and exuberance, or caution and logic, but they don’t hype them.

People who are winning at working deliver what they promise. If anything they under-promise and over-deliver, without ever sandbagging. Every time they do what they say they’re going to do, they build their credibility. And credibility builds careers. But, there’s another benefit too. Self-esteem soars when you surprise and delight a boss, a client, or a teammate by delivering more than you promised. Want to start winning at working? Don’t promise more than you can deliver. And kill the hype.

(c) 2005 Nan S. Russell. All rights reserved.

Sign up to receive Nan’s free biweekly eColumn at http://www.winningatworking.com. Nan Russell has spent over twenty years in management, most recently with QVC as a Vice President. She has held leadership positions in Human Resource Development, Communication, Marketing and line Management. Nan has a B.A. from Stanford University and M.A. from the University of Michigan. Currently working on her first book, Winning at Working: 10 Lessons Shared, Nan is a writer, columnist, small business owner, and speaker. Visit http://www.nanrussell.com or contact Nan at info@nanrussell.com.

Share This